Everyone sees things differently. Arguing with someone who sees things so much different that you do is futile, at first.

If you really want to convince someone to your point of view, the first thing you need to do is don’t try. Instead, try this. Ask them questions about why they feel that way. Get them to openly articulate their thoughts.

Listen.

Keep listening.

Then when they are done. You’ll understand their point of view. Then, and only then, can you begin your argument.

But don’t just in with “you’re wrong!” Talk to them about how you understand now why they think that way, and then counter their thoughts with your own.

Here’s an example. I talked a few older family members at Thanksgiving about the Obama presidency. The two of them were completely disgusted about how Obama is working so hard to “act like he’s the President before he takes office”. They said he was arrogant, and he was just trying to make himself look good.

They saw it different than I did.

From their perspective, which I figured out after listening first, Obama was overstepping his bounds and he should “just do it like it’s been done forever” which is to just wait until Bush leaves office, then come in and get started.

I disagreed, but I didn’t tell them they were wrong. After I listened, I instead made counter points about why I thought it was a good thing he was taking action now instead of waiting.

In the end, I don’t think I convinced them. But what I did was open the possibility in their head of the other point of view. Which in my book is a win.

People see things differently. You’ll never achieve persuasion unless you listen. This is true in life and business. Especially marketing.

Do you listen to your customers? No? Then how can you persuade them?

Photo credit: The Examiner.

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